A talk with the Shadow Artist's Shadow, PartDeux

As much as I envision myself backpacking over the planet to explore, document and tap into wonders yet unseen, and as much as I enjoy the idea of living a life of minimal maintenance, 0 attachments and in complete union with nature, I still DREAM OF DECADENCE. Let me be clear, however, b/c although worlds and desires can be fused and don't necessarily have to cancel each other out, it seems to be an effort for me, personally, to merge the two sides into one happy Gemini Package (is there even such a thing?). Of COURSE these sides can be merged, to declare otherwise would be like telling a yogi they absolutely can't eat meat or consume caffeine. Granted, the elimination of flesh and uppers benefits the practice greatly and allows for more flexibility, but I digress. Sometimes it feels as if I should bring myself to the point where I quiet all desires for hedonistic indulgence, and live a life of "perfect" health (no alcohol, no drugs, no experimenting, no vanity, no ego, just compassion and kindness--you know what I'm getting at, if not, well then, live a little); purity, stable routine and "respectable bedtimes". However, the truth is, much of the calling to indulge is simply a Creative Fire, un-churned, untouched, undernourished. Let's not even get started on the fantasies of costumes, choreography and cachaca that become increasingly fueled. At the end of the day though, I'm a misfit--don't know where I fit. Thirty years on this planet and so much time wasted has led to much artist shadowing. Basking in their audacity and talent as a means to deny my own. The time is now (how many times have we said that before?!) to release the conflict between the parts of me that may be fragmented. In Gary Zukav's "Seat of the Soul", he discusses that the soul can not be fragmented, but the personality naturally is, as it is a means to cope with the outside world and all it's facades. To close, there is only one way to demonstrate how I feel, and that of course, is with music and art (see below, of course). Gracias. Blessed Journeys to the Artist within. The CREATOR carries us along to Co-Create. Waking up to this reminder day after day, some days more loudly than others, eventually crescendoes. And THAT is when u have to make the real decisions. There are two main ingredients to this recipe for progress. Complete confidence grounded in unshakeable faith. Surely there is a way to bring these parts to make a whole, but without leaving behind one or the other--seems like a challenge, and will require the deepest and most willful intent of shadow-boxing-with-the self, to get to the root of what IS REALLY IMPORTANT.

I chose this as an example of what decadence means to me; it is as much about talent as it is about vanity as it is about basking in the glow of your hard work and FIERCNESS. Also, I'm kiiiind of obsessed w/the work of w/MissThang here and so, here we are:::


Then, there's this side of me. The Yogini, the Hippie, the Philosopher, the Writer, the Earth-Magick-Practitioner, the Naturalist, the Activist, the Gypsy.